I have to preface this by saying I don’t consider in yucking anybody’s yums. That being stated, please pricey lord, I don’t need to see you make out with Shrek. This looks as if a easy want, and but it’s one which has been unfulfilled for the previous 24 hours.
On Thursday, TikTok person Igor Ryleev blursed the world with a brand new filter: Kissing Shrek. Since then, movies of individuals pretending to kiss everybody’s favourite swamp dweller have haunted my For You Web page. And with almost 463,000 posts already, it’s not like TikTok goes to expire of movies to serve me anytime quickly.
I do know, I do know, it’s my fault that TikTok retains feeding me these movies, as a result of clearly I’m watching them sufficient to sign curiosity. However what’s getting misplaced within the algorithm is that I don’t get pleasure from watching individuals kiss Shrek. It’s solely that one look at somebody making out with the large inexperienced lad and I freeze. Like Cthulhu, Kissing Shrek is just too a lot for the human mind to understand.
This isn’t the primary sexualized Shrek filter, sadly. The favored SHREK IN THE SKY impact, which has over 527,000 views, encompasses a supersized, latex-clad visage of Shrek towering over you, gyrating and thrusting in a approach Dreamworks by no means might have imagined or desired. However there may be an intimacy to the kissing Shrek movies that’s notably unsettling — and that gained’t be leaving my reminiscence anytime quickly.
My one hope of ending this curse is that possibly — simply possibly! — Kissing Shrek works like The Ring or these superstitious chain e-mails that I positively, possibly, by no means thought had been actual rising up. Maybe, if I share Kissing Shrek with you all right here, I’ll free myself of this burden. If that freedom comes at your expense, I apologize, however all of us should do what we have to to outlive.
And with that, I hope I’m lastly, lastly free.
